The last time I did it I was on my back in a South Florida hotel room. I always tell myself laying on your back can mean one of two things: You’re dead You’re being fucked In this instance, maybe I was both. That or just extremely oblivious. Oblivious to what the rest of the […]
Most notably in Bali, the Maldives or some other tropical tourist hot spot. This individual will have an Instagram in which they can be found drinking away reality through straws stabbed through overpriced coconuts. They are convinced they’ve found a little spot of uninhabited paradise, but guy if you can tag your location with your […]
It’s like school picture day but with locations. My lawn looks like a gorilla’s asshole. Mucho grassy-ass I must say! Damn, can they notify you before you can make some landscaping decisions? What does your house look like on google maps?
This is what I usually think when I am listening to a song I really want to like but just can’t bring myself to listen to the original. I need a remix! I’m sorry, Drake.
Sorry, I should have used the term cunninglitis for formal purposes. But seriously though, what gives? I have always choked on the Charlie why do you not use the same reckless abandon when you’re chomping on my cherry? And don’t you dare say, “did you take a shower?” This is a gender neutral thing. I […]
Please! I even deleted him off my phone contacts so why does he still pop up?! Mind you we’re both post graduates and the last thing I need to see is how you’re a manager while I’m a coordinator, so help me, please!
It simply isn’t. Have you ever been through a difficult time in your life, and experienced up and downs due to bad experiences with certain people or life in general? Positive then negative or sad and then angry? Well here’s the thing: people might tell you that being angry is “better” than feeling sorrow. It’s […]
I flirted with an automated message system. My Digit account has been the nicest and most cordial person/thing I’ve talked to all week. It all started after I sent out an abrupt, “balance”. I usually don’t bother to put an article in front of my texts to digit so I send it things like: “latest […]
and who the hell buys them? I was warned to stay away from these things.
No really, you are. Even fellow millennials that find their blog superior to mine. Well fuck, it might be… I don’t know how to implement a template property. You might get that entry job I applied for just because you know how to do all that social media and design shit. I know how to […]
No-pics-it-did-happen 